Written by: Maine Dela Cruz
This love month, we celebrate all forms of love, including the love that bloomed from the most unlikely corners. As more and more people resorted to the virtual world for work and play, the shift in social interactions has an enormous impact on traditional dating. Online dating has become increasingly popular over the past decade. If you want to meet someone with the objective of potentially finding a lifetime partner, the requirements have changed: all you need is a mobile phone, mobile data, or a fiber optic internet provider in the Philippines.
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What does traditional dating look like in the Philippines?
In the Philippines, courting and dating rituals have evolved over time and have been influenced by the country’s history. There has always been wooing, and it comes in many different forms, and it is linked to a certain set of courting etiquette and taboos that have existed since the dawn of time. There are a few traditional courting techniques that were really practiced by many Filipinos in the past before Philippine dating took on its current form. These are a few examples:
1. “Pasaguli” or Riddle Courtship
Before the arrival of Spanish authority, this method of courtship was already in use. There are two key goals for this style of wooing, which include a love riddle event: to demonstrate particular signs of love and as a means of assessing the feelings of the parents of both parties. The fee will be settled in the form of dowry once everything has been finalized. For a long time, the Palawan region was the most popular destination for anyone looking to engage in this practice.
2. “Harana” or Serenade
In the Philippines, this appears to be the most common kind of courting etiquette since it is both romantic and appealing to emotions. By serenading outside the window of a woman’s bedroom at night, males introduce themselves and woo their admiration. It’s an admirable and highly romantic wooing deed to serenade the woman of your desires on a breezy night with the charming blend of Spanish-influenced melodies and Tagalog poetry and lyricism.
3. “Paninilbihan” or Servitude
Paninilbihan, or service at the lady’s house, was performed by gentlemen in the Philippines during the early stages of courtship to show their sincerity and dedication to the woman they loved and adored. As a result of this deed, the woman received gifts for her family and was frequently visited by the man. In order for the woman’s parents to determine whether or not the suitor was sincere in his intentions, this particular dating gesture was mandated.
4. “Balak” or Spoken Poetry
Balak, or spoken poetry, was a common form of courting in the Visayas area, particularly in Cebu. Reciting heartfelt love poems to the lady of his dreams was a key part of this process. The gentleman’s ideal woman’s emotional weight was based on his feelings of love, which were highlighted in this way.
5. Sending Love Letters
Sending letters to express one’s love and affection was a highly prized dating and courtship practice in America after the Spanish-American war era. Because Dr. Jose P. Rizal was such an avid poet, letter-writer, and novelist, he inspired many men to practice this gesture. It’s one way to get to know the woman you are courting. Asking someone close to your Filipino girl to deliver your letter is an effective way to get her attention in a dating situation. She will answer to that letter, no matter what, and ask their mediator to deliver it once more, whether she accepts or rejects the gentleman’s love. Sending letters through mediators takes a long time, thus this took a lot of patience and tolerance in the past.
How did online dating evolve from traditional dating?
Traditional dating almost always puts two people together from the same general location. These people may have met in school, on the job, at a party, through an acquaintance, or in a restaurant. However, traditional dating came into a major shift when cellphones have become accessible to many Filipinos. Here are some ways traditional dating became modernized:
1. Text mates/Call mates
Before online dating became a thing, there was a thing called text mates or call mates. In the early 2000s, when mobile phones first became widely available in the United States, young gentlemen began using them to initiate romantic contact with the women they hoped to meet. In the Philippines, texting and calling each other has been the most popular method of wooing in recent years, and it has had both positive and negative consequences for those who engage in it.
2. Online Messaging/Video Calling
People have discovered their potential partners through social networking sites land apps like Facebook and Messenger, which have proved quite successful in the dating process. Facebook and Messenger’s popularity in the Philippines has led many Filipinos to use these platforms to interact with someone they’re in a romantic relationship with instead of texting or making phone calls. Sending messages using Messenger is completely free. Using it to drop clues at the person you want to date and woo is a highly cost-effective, current, and cool thing for guys to do. As a result, most people choose to use this app since it allows them to communicate in real-time, contains innovative and expressive GIFs, stickers, and emojis, and is actually quite easy to use.
3. International Dating Sites
Not only in the Philippines, but all throughout the world, this method of meeting someone is becoming increasingly popular. International dating has grown more common than other types of dating gestures since love is no longer confined to the borders of one’s own country. Throughout the years, many Filipinas have found their one true love outside of the Philippines thanks to the proliferation of online dating sites. An online dating site is a specific type of social media designed for people to find romantic partners and friends.
4. Online Dating Apps
If anything, dating apps have gotten more popular over the past two years, as they’ve added new features aimed at helping you forge relationships even when you’re sticking close to home. Video chats, remote dating, and similar tools are now a mainstay among these types of apps. According to Pew Research, online dating users are more likely to describe their overall experience using these platforms in positive rather than negative terms.
Popular Dating Sites/Apps
Looking for the list of popular dating sites/apps in the country? Say no more! Check out the list below for some of the Philippines’ famous dating sites/apps:
- Tinder
- Bumble
- FilipinoCupid
- Cherry Blossoms
- PinaLove
- FilipinoKisses
- EliteSingles
- Truly Filipina
- FilipinoDating
- FilipinaMatch
Pros of Online Dating
So what are some of the reasons why online dating has become a phenomenon?
1. You can meet more people.
The best thing about these websites is they can match you up with thousands of potential life partners. This is very helpful if you work or live in an environment where there aren’t that many single people to meet, or if you don’t have a large social circle.
2. You can meet people who think like you.
Being able to list and specify what you are looking for in a person will give you the chance to meet someone similar to yourself. If your beliefs are important to you and you happen to be part of a community where your culture or spiritual beliefs are in the minority, then online dating can introduce you to people who share the same belief systems.
3. You and those you meet are open about what you are searching for.
Unlike meeting someone by chance and hitting it off, people on dating sites are open about what they are looking for and what’s important to them. This tends to remove a lot of the uncertainty which you might have in the initial stages of the relationship. For example, questions such as “Are you interested in marriage? Are children important to you? Is my religion incompatible with yours?” can be brought up very early in the relationship and answered openly.
4. It’s good for an introverted or shy person.
If you are shy, then online dating sites are a godsend! Being able to express who you are in the form of pictures, video messages and profiles means that you have time to think through what you want to say about yourself and to share it with other people without the pressure of having to cover it all in a brief encounter.
The Cons of Online Dating
Few things in life are perfect, and whilst online dating has a lot going for it, you need to be aware of the flip side to all that goodness.
1. You can be blindsided by your biases.
Whilst being able to specify exactly how often your future spouse works out, what sort of food they eat and what type of job they do might sound great, in reality, you may be so focused on what you think you want that you might miss out on what you ought to want.
Most happily married couples will tell you that the glue that holds them together through thick and thin is a shared values system. Unfortunately, most online dating site profiles tend to focus on the attributes of your potential dates, not on the values which they might have.
2. Profiles are not everything.
Apart from the difficulty that sites have in checking the accuracy of the information submitted, profiles cannot tell you everything about a person. There are non-verbal behavioral cues that you can only know about when you interact directly with a person. What if that perfectly gorgeous man you chose picks his teeth and has poor personal hygiene? If you are a clean-freak, this is definitely not going to work! On a more serious note, qualities such as chemistry, empathy, and compassion are almost impossible to assess from a profile.
3. Most sites/apps tend to hype up physical characteristics.
It’s undeniable if you have a fun name like Holly or Zac, and you have a gorgeous picture on your page, you will get a lot more requests from people to meet up and get to know you. As a result, many sites have a strong focus on physical attractiveness and member behaviors tend to demonstrate this slant as well.
However, we all know that attraction manifests itself in many dimensions. The 2D photograph is only a very narrow one. Other factors lie in intangibles such as posture and carriage, self-confidence, personality, and even that great unknown – animal chemistry!
4. You may feel pressured to commit.
Things in the virtual world move along a different timeline. Knowing someone online for 2 weeks may seem like a lifetime, and you might feel that you are ready for a romantic relationship. But in reality, you probably would never invite someone to go on a date with you that might turn intimate if you had known them through friends for that same amount of time. There is also the possibility that your potential date may feel that since you have both declared that you are single and interested, moving immediately to the “next stage” in getting to know each other is a given.
5. Predators tend to lurk on dating sites.
It’s a dangerous world out there and the internet is rife with tricksters, scammers, and all sorts of confidence games. So be very careful. You never know if that profile that you are looking at is real. Before you go online, learn to protect yourself. Never reveal your personal, private information, don’t send money even if you think it’s for an important cause, and always take precautions before meeting up in person.
Key Takeaway
Online dating is here to stay and for many, it’s a real and successful way to meet a life partner. However, like any environment, you need to take steps to protect yourself from potential scams and dangers.
Find Your Potential Lifetime Partner with Streamtech Internet!
Online dating can be an exciting phase in your life. That’s why it’s such a bummer when we experience poor connectivity. Sometimes, this alone can be a deal-breaker for some people we meet online. If you are subscribed to a DSL plan, it’s time to make a switch. DSL vs fiber internet is pretty much like dating: why settle for less when you can be with the best? In terms of DSL vs fiber internet’s speed, would you date someone who’s isn’t reliable and disappears when you need them the most? Of course not!
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